


You Get What You Need - Part 2

by RoczaDeb



Series: You Can't Always Get What You Want [2]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, F/M, Mild Language, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23938009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoczaDeb/pseuds/RoczaDeb
Summary: The members of SG-1 have gone their separate ways. Can Jack bring them back? Can he get them to forgive themselves? Or is SG-1 truly just a memory? Sequel to 'You Can't Always Get What You Want.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Series: You Can't Always Get What You Want [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725523
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	You Get What You Need - Part 2

**Author's Note:**

> Title: You Get What You Need – Part 2
> 
> Author: Rocza
> 
> Status: Complete
> 
> Category: Stargate SG-1: Season 9 After Threads
> 
> Sequel Information: None
> 
> Series Information: None
> 
> Spoilers: Stargate SG-1: 0901-0902 Avalon, 0903 Origin, 0904 The Ties That Bind, 0905 Beachhead, 0910-0911 The Fourth Horseman
> 
> Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, AU
> 
> Characters: Gen Jack O’Neill, LtCol Sam Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Teal’c, LtCol Cameron Mitchell, Vala MalDoran, Dr. Carolyn Lam, Gen Hank Landry, Dr. Janet Frasier, Henry Hayes, Original Character
> 
> Relationship Categories: F/M
> 
> Pairing: J/S 
> 
> Content Level: Explicit (NC-17 not allowed on FF.net)
> 
> Additional Tags (AO3) or Content Warning: Angst, Refers to Violence, Refers to Rape/Non-Con, Mild Language
> 
> (AO3 only) Active Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
> 
> Summary: The members of SG-1 have gone their separate ways. Can Jack bring them back? Can he get them to forgive themselves? Or is SG-1 truly just a memory? Sequel to 'You Can't Always Get What You Want.
> 
> Archive Permissions: Any who want it are welcome. Just give me credit.
> 
> Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis and Stargate Universe characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions; not me. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted without the author's consent.
> 
> Author's Notes: I know, I'm horrible for breaking up the team. But here is my chance to bring them back together. The last part was about the breakup. This part is about healing and restoring what was lost. It starts when Sam is about 7 months pregnant.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Chapter 1 – A Time to Plant

"You can't always get what you want, But if you try sometimes, well you just might find, You get what you need." – You Can't Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones

"And how does that make you feel?" David asked quietly.

Jack pondered the question before finally replying. They had been discussing Sam's latest email. Sam had been almost religious about sending him any and every detail about her pregnancy. But no matter how long or how detailed, Jack felt her separation from him acutely. She never mentioned anything about herself that wasn't about the pregnancy…nothing he could use to reconnect with her…nothing that would give him the feeling that she was more than a casual acquaintance. Each message served to shred his heart a bit more. He loved this child so much already, but he had loved its mother for longer. Her repeated rejections hurt more than he could admit …but he couldn't tell her to stop sending them. In fact, he both anticipated and dreaded the day, only two months in the future, when she went into labor because it would signal the end of her emails. As hurtful as they were, they were his only connection to her…His last connection to her and he didn't want to lose that connection yet.

"I don't know. I mean…it's all mixed up…happy, sad, angry, frustrated…I just…don't know." Jack sighed softly and wondered, yet again, why he kept coming back to counseling.

Jack had never liked psychologists. He didn't like them asking invasive questions. He didn't like them dragging his emotions out of him. He just didn't do the emotional thing…but here he was yet again, talking to Dr David Jones about his feelings, about Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c, and about the new baby.

Weirder yet, Jack was actually talking. Yeah, he understood that the counseling sessions that General Hammond had required were for his own good. Hell, he even understood the importance of talking it out. He had made an extra effort this time to be honest up front. To try and work through his pain before he lost his friends to an alien influenced act. He had succeeded in getting past the trauma of the rape only to find no one waiting for him. He had healed his heart and mind to find himself abandoned by the very friendships he had been trying so hard to preserve.

Next thing he knew, he was returning to the shrink and spilling even more of his guts. Apparently, when he finally decided to do this emotional thing, he felt the need to go all the way. He had trusted the shrink with all of his hopes and fears for his friends as they moved on without him. Jack trusted the man's advice as he worked through his abandonment and the stress of his new job. It was kind of weird how easily he trusted this shrink. He was usually suspicious by nature and seldom trusted anyone, but this guy… he had intuitively trusted this guy from the first time he laid eyes on him.

The good doctor came highly recommended. Dr Jones had spent years counseling combat veterans. His more recent patients were the walking wounded at Walter-Reed Medical Center. Jack doubted that he would ever learn how Hammond had gotten the shrink the necessary security clearance to see Jack, let alone hear about all of his issues both pre- and post-SGC. Even the ghostly Janet seemed to approve of him.

But that alone didn't explain Jack's reaction to the shrink. Jack TRUSTED him. Jack had trusted him since he was first forced into his office for his mandatory counseling sessions. It was a gut reaction. One he couldn't ignore. One that he didn't want to ignore.

"This isn't getting us anywhere," Jack said as he suddenly sat up, fully intending to leave.

David's soft chuckle stopped him, "You got somewhere better to be, General?"

Jack responded to the familiar laugh with a smile of his own. Out of the corner of his eye Jack watched as the doctor pushed his glasses back up his face while he grinned.

The image struck him because of its familiarity. Jack slowly turned and saw the doctor in a new light. He examined him closely and felt his heart clench painfully.

"What is it, General?" David asked, noting his change in expression.

Jack shook his head trying to banish the stray thought, but it wouldn't budge. Instead, Jack finally realized why he trusted THIS psychologist on sight. This psychologist was a dead ringer for one Dr Daniel Jackson.

Jack had thought he was getting over the absence of his friends. He had hoped that he was better. Instead, he realized that he had simply been trying to replace them. Or maybe he had been trying to find them again…

"Crap," he said quietly. "I just realized that I do have somewhere better to be…and I've put it off long enough. Thanks for all your help, Doc."

"Just a part of the service, General," David replied, his smile back in place.

Jack walked out of the office with a heavy heart. Now that he knew why he trusted the doctor; he would never return.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Lt Colonel Cameron Mitchell stared up at the Stargate in wonder. He was finally here. All his hard work had paid off. He almost couldn't believe that he was standing in front of the Stargate. It was pure luck that put him in Antarctica in time to lead the F-302 squadron in defense of SG-1. Just as luck saved him from dying in the subsequent crash and later from frostbite and hyperthermia as he waited for rescue.

Of course, standing here now, he thought that maybe it was a bit less luck and a bit more fate. Because as overwhelming as it felt to finally be here, his goal through all the pain of rehab, it also felt oh so right. He couldn't think of anywhere else he wanted or needed to be. Like his whole life to this point was simply to prepare him for this one moment.

He reached down to gently touch the metal of the giant ring, trying to ground himself from the overwhelming feeling of destiny that swamped him. His grandmother's words floated to him from the distant past, 'when God touches your soul, Child. You'll know it. And you'll know that it was Him that put you where He wanted you.'

Cam pulled his hand away from the Stargate and suddenly felt very humble. Perhaps, it was more than fate that had him here at this time after all. He didn't remember much from his bible study classes, but he knew beyond the shadow of doubt that those touched by God seldom lived long comfortable lives.

The sound of the Gateroom door opening drew his thoughts away from destiny and back to his surroundings as a Chief Master Sergeant approached him.

"Colonel, I'm Chief Harriman," the Chief stated simply in introduction.

Cam got up from his crouched position by the Stargate and walked down the ramp towards the Chief.

"The general's ready for you," the Chief announced.

Cam smiled and nodded his thanks to the chief before heading out the door. "It's bigger than I thought it'd be," he said to himself, trying to shake off his earlier mood.

"Yes, Sir," the Chief's voice followed him. "Welcome to Stargate Command."

With those words the oppressing weight of destiny seemed to once more push down on him before lifting once and for all. Lt Colonel Cameron Mitchell paused briefly as the feeling passed before continuing his journey, his thoughts turning to the challenges that lay ahead of him.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Cam had been with the SGC for less than two days and he was now convinced that God had a perverse sense of humor. No sooner had he become convinced that he was destined to help save the world alongside the greatest heroes of his generation, when he was told that the aforementioned heroes had moved on from saving the world.

First, he was blown off by Dr Jackson. Granted, he didn't really know the archeologist all that well, but he didn't expect to get the royal brush off. It was almost as if Jackson was more afraid of staying then leaving for another hostile galaxy. Though, Cam was sure he sensed a bit of sadness in the archeologist’s eyes before the brush off. So maybe, he wasn't as eager to leave as he was pretending.

Then there was Teal'c. The alien had been more than willing to meet with him in between council meetings. But as reluctant as he was to return to the council meeting, he seemed more reluctant to discuss returning to Earth as a member of SG-1. In fact, he evaded the subject with the skill of a true diplomat. It seemed to Cam that Teal'c had expected Cam to ask him another question entirely. Perhaps he would have returned to Earth willingly, but only if Cam could figure out what Teal'c had expected him to ask first.

Finally, there was Lt Colonel Samantha Carter. Sam was his classmate. She had been one of his friends at the academy and through pilot training. He knew her better than anyone else at the SGC. But even she had been distant over the video conference. She seemed content with her work at Area 51, hell, she was practically glowing with good health. So, the work must be good for her. But she also seemed sad, almost as if she regretted turning him down. And her line, 'I have my reasons for wanting this job,' didn't quite ring true.

But…they all did have perfectly reasonable excuses for not wanting to come back. Atlantis probably did need Dr. Jackson's expertise in all things Ancient. Teal'c's leadership probably was best spent building a new free Jaffa nation. And Sam…probably did have her reasons…likely well thought out and extensively outlined. But that didn't make them anything but excuses... Instead of being reassured with their reasoning, Cam felt warning bells going off in his mind. Something was terribly wrong and somehow he was supposed to fix it.

Now, if he could just figure out what IT was…

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Sam gently pushed away from the table and rested her hand on her belly with a small, sad smile. Cam had been most insistent that she had to come back to the SGC and SG-1. But, even if she had wanted to return, at seven months pregnant, she couldn't. She couldn't risk the health of her child to calm his fears.

She was needed here. She was helping to make the most of the technology that was brought back through the Stargate. She had already made a major break-through in shield technology and her system upgrade for the new Daedalus class ships would improve integration with the new Asgard hyperdrive.

But even if she hadn't been pregnant, she didn't think that she could stay at the SGC. She had too many memories of that place that included her general. Too much laughter, blood, and pain all mixed into the rooms and hallways that made up the SGC. Just being there would force her to remember all that she had lost… all that she could never have.

No. It was better to be here… watching and helping as she could. Carrying a child, she would never raise. Loving a man, she never intended to see again.

Here, at least, she could feel useful. Here she could do what was needed to ease his burden. Here she could mourn all that was lost, without all those knowing eyes asking forbidden questions.

Yes, here was much better. Cam would learn to stand on his own two feet. He would learn the same way she had. He didn't need to burden himself with her mistakes. He deserved a clean slate.

She stood up and made her way slowly back to her lab. She had her mission and she needed to get back to it.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Chapter 2 – A Time to Reap

Jack knew that he was being a chicken shit. Sure, he had flown all the way from DC to Colorado specifically to go to the SGC and see Daniel. He had even driven halfway to the base before he chickened out. So, instead of confronting Daniel, he was sitting with Hank drinking beer, playing chess, and bullshitting about nothing. Trying desperately to hide his true purpose for the visit.

"So, did you decide to go with the desk at an angle, or flush with the door?" he asked as he moved a piece.

Hank gave him a long look and he winced internally. "Is that what this is about? You come all the way to Colorado Springs to check up on me?"

Now, Jack felt really bad. Hank had been doing a great job at the SGC. He had taken to the weirdness of the place better than most. His main complaint seemed to revolve around not having anyone to yell at. "No. I had to sign the papers to my house, and my car… motorcycle…" This time the wince showed. Okay, so that sounded even lamer out loud.

Hank didn't seem to believe him, but ignored it anyway. "You know, I'll never forget that day, on the front porch of my house, you standing there saying you wanted to tell me something about the Stargate Program." Hank chuckled as he remembered the image. "I thought one of us had surely lost his mind."

Jack remembered that day just as clearly. Hammond had finally allowed him out of his DC townhouse to sign Hank into the program, providing that Jack took it easy. He had been so happy to get away from Janet's haunting specter that he had forgotten to take his pain medication. He must have been quite a sight, pale and shaking with the pain, but unwilling to admit defeat until he had convinced Hank to come on board. To this day, he was sure that Hank only agreed so Jack would go away and rest. And of course, Janet had followed him and grilled him soundly for forgetting his meds.

"That may actually be true," Jack replied with a grin, thinking of Janet's ghost. He shook his head softly. He was here for intel on Daniel, not to reminisce. "How are things working out for Mitchell?" he asked, cursing himself once again for dancing around the reason for his visit.

Hank gave him an odd look, "Well, you could've told him that SG-1 had been reassigned. You should have seen his face."

"Yeah," Jack sighed. "I suppose, huh?" He could well imagine the young colonel's disappointment.

"Yeah. He'll uh… he'll get his feet," Hank replied, sensing that he was getting too close to the forbidden topic of SG-1's separation. He moved a chess piece, while watching Jack closely. "Man's a survivor."

Jack moved a piece as he replied, "He's also got the best of the best looking out for him."

"A general's only as good as the people he commands," Hank quoted absently.

"Who said that?" Jack asked, liking the quote, and knowing Hank's penchant for using famous quotes to speak for him.

"I just did," Hank said with a smirk. He moved again and noticed Jack's bemused smile. "I mean, Douglas MacArthur may have said something similar," he added dismissively.

"Didn't he also say, 'there is no substitute for winning'?" Jack asked as he moved his next piece with a smirk.

"Actually, it was, 'in war, there is no substitute for victory'," Hank replied while carefully examining the chess board. Finally, he sighed and knocked over his king with his beer bottle and conceded the match. He should know better than to play chess with Jack. He chuckled and added as he toasted Jack's victory, "You seem to have a knack for it."

"Yeah, well, that just goes back to your first quote," Jack said, quietly. He took another sip of his beer and set it down decisively. "So, how's Daniel doing?"

"Dr. Jackson?" Hank clarified, knowing that he was definitely crossing into forbidden territory. His last seven months interacting with the rest of the SGC had taught him that the break-up of SG-1 and Jack's reassignment were never to be discussed. EVER. Colonel Reynolds had gone as far as refusing a direct order. Hank had only let it go, when General Hammond had told him that it was nothing that would endanger the SGC and to drop it. In the last seven months, Hank had decided that it was just too painful a subject to discuss, even for the SGC members who remained behind.

Jack nodded, unable to say anything past the lump in his throat.

"Ah, he seems to be doing well. He's looking forward to going to find the Atlantis expedition," Hank carefully replied.

"Good…good," Jack replied. "I…ah…I've been worried about him, you know…" Jack picked at the label on his beer, trying to hide his feelings.

Hank's stunned face spoke volumes, "Yeah," he replied absently. "I've been keeping an eye on him. He works too much, but I've been told that is normal for him." Hank examined Jack closely, "Did he always work till all hours?"

Jack smiled in response, "Yeah. Daniel and Carter…" his throat closed briefly. He swallowed the emotion down, "…they would work through the night if I let them."

"Ah, then not much has changed. Dr Jackson still works far later than anyone else." Hanks eyes flicked away from Jack, "I've taken to turning the power off in his office after midnight to roust him out."

Jack chuckled, "I wish I'd have thought of that. Does it work?"

Hank returned the laugh with one of his own, "Not really. He's started using a laptop for his translations and just moves to his quarters to finish up."

Jack let out an honest laugh. "That's the problem when working with genius problem solvers, they can usually out flank you."

"Ain't that the truth," Hank replied and took another sip of beer as he gave Jack a considering look. "So, why are you here, Jack?"

Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "To see Daniel."

Hank's eyes widened in surprise and he sat back in his chair.

Jack nodded at the man's unspoken question. "But, I could fit a talk to Mitchell in if you think he needs it," he said deflecting attention from the painful topic.

Hank finally snapped out of his surprise, "I don't think he needs it, but it couldn't hurt."

"Alright," Jack said as he started for formulate a plan of attack. "If you'll arrange for a 302, I'll give the colonel a pep talk."

"An incentive flight, Jack?" Hank said around a smirk.

"Hey, if I have to talk to the guy, I might as well get in some flight time," Jack replied easily.

"Of course," Hank replied easily, "What time?"

Jack glanced at his watch. It was almost time for lunch. "How about around 1600 hours?"

Hank nodded, "I'll see to it. Good luck, Jack."

"Thanks, Hank," Jack said as he rose to leave. "You've been a good friend."

Hank smiled surprisingly touched by Jack's comment. "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down," Hank quoted as he shook Jack's hand. At Jack's quizzical look, he added, "Arnold Glasow."

Jack smiled one last time before collecting his hat and heading for the mountain.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

As Jack walked down the hallway to Daniel's office, he had to remind himself repeatedly that Daniel was his friend. His mind truly understood that Daniel had never wanted to hurt him, but the insane part of his mind was still afraid. In all honesty, he never felt like he deserved Daniel's friendship. Sure, he muddled his way through, and it usually seemed to work out for the best. At least it had right up until the 'Incident'.

His doubt slowed his stride, until he stopped, just outside Daniel's doorway. He could turn around and walk away with no one the wiser…Daniel would never know he was here or why…

A loud tapping interrupted his thoughts of fleeing. From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a familiar specter fiercely tapping her heels impatiently. "So, help me Jack O'Neill, if you screw this up after coming this far…" Janet's voice cut into him.

Okay, so the insane part of his mind knew that Daniel's friendship was too important to back out of now. He sighed and braced himself before stepping into the doorway. He froze on the threshold as he noticed Daniel quietly tapping away at his computer. Jack found it reassuring to find that Daniel hadn't changed much. He took a moment to absorb the scene for future use, just in case this reunion went to hell.

"Hey," Jack interrupted quietly, knowing that Daniel wouldn't notice him without some sort of clue. Hell, Daniel probably wouldn't notice the roof caving in around him if he was truly lost in his translations.

"Hey," Daniel replied absently, as he continued to type.

Jack almost smiled at the familiar exchange. It almost felt like nothing had changed and that give him hope that maybe things could be fixed.

Daniel suddenly froze mid-type, blinked owlishly once, as if to clear the mirage, before he commented, "Wow. What the hell are you doing here?"

Jack's smile slid off his face. That wasn't quite the greeting he had been expecting. Was it too much to ask for a polite 'hello' or a concerned 'how are you doing?'

"Nice to see you, too," Jack finally replied with a snap. Maybe this was a mistake.

Daniel immediately stood up and looked horrified by his words, "No, no, sorry. It's just… I wasn't expecting to see you."

Jack tried to calm his fears. After all, this was Daniel. This was worth it… Jack waved off the offensive words and pushed forward, "Yeah, well, I was in the neighborhood…" He could see Daniel nodding while he was still totally confused. Jack almost smiled again, surprised that he could still confound the man after all these years. "I've…uh…" He stammered for an excuse, anything to take the awkwardness out of this visit. "I've got a little surprise for…um…Mitchell." Jack winced. That was even lamer than the house thing with Hank.

Daniel looked slightly disappointed before wrapping his arms around himself and nodding, "Oh yeah. He loved the last one. The fact that you didn't tell him that we were all moving on to different positions."

"Yeah," Jack replied in a quiet voice. Truth was he had forgotten all about Mitchell after the 'Incident'. It wasn't until he saw the colonel's transfer paperwork cross his desk that he remembered his promise to the young pilot. Perhaps a F-302 incentive flight wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Daniel's face shifted to a pained grimace. It was a face that Jack was very familiar with. Daniel was about to bring up things that were better off unspoken. "Jack, I…I'm…"

"I'm hungry," Jack interrupted. Knowing his friend, Daniel would try to push too far, too soon. Jack wasn't ready for confessions and apologies. Not yet. That would come later, if it was still needed. But right now, Jack just needed to feel normal with his friend. He needed to know that Daniel was willing to be his friend again.

"Me, too," Daniel replied as he quietly studied Jack. Then, almost imperceptibly, he nodded.

Jack's relief was almost palatable. He gestured to the door with his head and said, "Wanna? My treat."

"Sure," Daniel replied with a smile.

They walked slowly through the hallways side by side, neither one talked. But the silence wasn't strained or empty. They entered the crowded chow hall and made their way to the serving line. The other SGC members seemed surprised to see the pair, but Jack couldn't tell if it was just seeing him or seeing him with Daniel. Either way, they cleared away from SG-1's old table long before Jack and Daniel cleared the serving lines.

Once they sit down again, Daniel started talking a mile a minute about all the interesting discoveries that he had made recently. In turn, Jack finally got to bitch and complain about his new job in DC. The normality of the meal was a balm on his injured soul. They talked about nothing and everything for several hours, long after the chow hall emptied out and the food line was cleared away.

As their reunion wound down, Daniel once again put on his 'time for the truth' face. This time, Jack let him. He wouldn't change Daniel if he had the choice, and Daniel, being Daniel, had to say his piece. But this time, Jack felt ready to hear the words and to say them in return.

"Look, Jack," Daniel started as he watched Jack closely. "I just want to say…I'm sorry."

Jack smiled at how predictable his friend could be. "I know. I forgave you all for not returning my calls a long time ago, Daniel. I was hurt. But I got over it. And since you don't have anything else to apologize for…" He gave Daniel a meaningful look. "Me on the other hand. I've been a bit…distant recently, and for that I am sorry, Daniel. I hope you can forgive me." Jack gave Daniel a contrite look. He meant it. He had been distant. He had stopped trying to contact his friends. He should have tried harder.

Daniel looked stunned. "I… um… of course, Jack. But…"

"Good, I told you a long time ago that the foundations were solid. You just have to have a little faith," Jack replied quickly, not wanting to draw this painful conversation on any longer.

Daniel smiled and nodded in agreement. His eyes were glistening just a bit as he replied, "You're right, Jack. I'll do better next time."

Jack felt his own eyes water up. "Yeah, you do that." He checked his watch. Shit, was it really that late. "Um, I've got to go, Daniel." He looked directly at his friend as he stood up, "I've had a good time. We should do this more often."

Daniel returned his gaze, "Yeah, I'll stop by next time I'm in DC."

Jack grinned, "You do that." He hurried out of the room but had to look back once. His friend was back. Daniel smiled and waved at him as he left, and Jack felt a piece of his heart fall back into place. One down, two to go…

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Chapter 3-A Time To Build Up

"Yeah, man. This is good," Cam drawled into his mask as he piloted the F-302 through a series of maneuvers. He could almost hear the general smiling behind him in the second seat. "Still a rush."

The incentive flight had come as a complete surprise. When General Landry had casually asked if he would be willing to pilot an F-302 so an old pilot could catch up on his flying hours, Cam had jumped at the chance. He hadn't even been annoyed when the pilot in question was late for the pre-flight briefing. And then to find out that his second seat would be General O'Neill…Cam had been walking on cloud nine all the way through the pre-flight briefing, his checklists, and the boring climb to military air space.

"Yeah," the general replied distractedly.

"I don't know why I didn't get back on the horse sooner, except I really didn't think you could take one of these things out for a joy ride," Cam replied nervously. The general had been quiet most of the flight, and Cam had been nervous and excited enough to chatter inanely almost the whole time. Crap, he was boring the hell out of the general.

The general's chuckle surprised him, "Now, see, that's one of the great things about being a general. You pretty much get to do whatever you want."

Cam grinned, "I suppose after you've saved the world seven or eight times…"

"Yeah, but who's counting?" the general replied casually, apparently in a better mood than earlier.

"Teal'c," Cam replied almost sourly. "Teal'c's counting."

"Really?" the general replied, sounding surprised, though Cam couldn't really tell based on voice alone.

"Yeah. Actually, it was the first thing he mentioned when I talked to him," Cam replied trying to get rid of his annoyance at the Jaffa's attitude and dismissal.

The general left him alone for a few moments, before he interrupted his thoughts. "So, Mitchell, I hear you haven't picked out your team, yet."

Shame and disappointment flushed through Cam. Yeah, he wasn't prepared to pick his team, because he was supposed to join a team, not build a new one. "I'm hoping I won't have to, Sir." Then he suddenly realized that it wasn't just any general he was speaking to, it was General O'Neill, former leader of SG-1 and the SGC and current head of Homeworld Security. Great, Cam, just make yourself look like an ass in front of your boss's boss.

"Why, did General Landry say something about it, Sir?" he asked in a worried tone. The last time they had talked, he got the impression that General Landry was a bit annoyed at him.

"He did," the general replied.

Cam's worry meter pegged. Shit, I'm going to be fired. He took a deep breath, "Are you going to tell me what he said, Sir?" Cam hated the nervous tone that was so obvious in his voice.

"He said you're going to be fine, Mitchell," the general replied with a chuckle.

Relief flooded through his system. He wasn't fired from the best job in the Air Force…hell, on the planet. "Thank you, Sir."

Cam was distracted as Range Control lit up his targets and he began his simulated attack run. He allowed the aircraft to dominate his attention and he found great satisfaction as each target was reported as a kill. Once the small fighter was again high in the atmosphere, his mind started to plague him again about the problem with his team.

"Sir?" Cam asked tentatively.

"Yeah, Mitchell," the general replied easily.

Cam didn't know quite how to phrase his questions. He was confused and conflicted about how best to populate his new team. How was he supposed to ask for help from one of his biggest heroes? He took a deep breath and just pushed forward, "How did you pick your team? I mean the original SG-1, Sir. How did you know that they had to be on the team? That they were the right ones?"

"Good question, Colonel," the general replied pensively. "Honestly, I didn't pick them… They picked me."

"Sir?" Cam asked confused. He knew the general history of SG-1 and how Colonel O'Neill had fought tooth and nail to have Dr Jackson and Teal'c on his team. How could he have NOT picked them?

The general chuckled again, "Mitchell, have you ever wondered why I chose you for SG-1?"

Cam's mind was effectively diverted. In fact, he had wondered, quite often, why he had been chosen. He didn't think that saving the lives of SG-1 was enough to warrant a position on the team, because others had accomplished that same feat, multiple times, on other occasions. Hell, other than that little fact, he had nothing to recommend him to the SGC, let alone to SG-1. He was a good pilot. He had even been told that he was a good leader, but he had no field experience. He had never served at the SGC on a field team. He wasn't a brilliant strategist, scientist, or anything. Cam made a pretty picture, but he knew his limitations. He was, at best, a diamond in the rough kind of USAF officer.

When General O'Neill had made the offer, Cam had been both stunned and honored. It was just the incentive he needed to push through rehab and back to full health. It had been the opportunity of a lifetime and he had grabbed it with both hands. And frequently, while he had worked to be worthy of the position he had been offered, he had wondered about the general's reasoning.

"Yes, Sir," Cam replied, swallowing nervously. He was almost dreading the general's answer.

"I chose you because you had already been chosen," the general replied cryptically.

Okay, that didn't make any sense. "Sir?"

"Mitchell, it took me a long time to understand how SG-1 works. It's not a job. It's not a position to be filled by the most qualified applicant. It's more like a calling or a vocation. You don't get chosen for SG-1. SG-1 chooses you," the general replied, his voice strangely wistful.

"When I first visited you in the hospital, I just knew that you would lead SG-1. You weren't even fully awake yet." The general chuckled, "You were so high on pain meds, I doubt you even knew your own name. But… I KNEW you would get here. I don't know how to explain it better than that."

Cam could hear the general shifting in his seat. "I wasn't really thinking much when I first when through to Abydos all those years ago, but Daniel struck a chord with me. He was the least qualified of all the scientists to go on that first mission, and I was sure he was lying out his ass about being able to get us home… which as it turned out, he was… But, somehow, I just knew that he had to come…against my better judgment, I let him come with us."

"Carter was a whole other story," the general continued as Cam's attention was purely focused on the seat behind him. "Carter was the most qualified. Hell, she was almost too qualified. And I was drawn to her in a way that I can't even describe. But this time I fought that feeling. I fought against her being assigned to my team. And in the end, Hammond just said that it was non-negotiable." Cam drew in a breath in surprise, that wasn't in the reports. Of course, he knew Sam better than most other people would. He had been in awe of her intellect and raw leadership qualities since their first year at the Academy. He just couldn't see how anyone wouldn't want her on their team, let alone O'Neill. It shifted Cam's entire world on its side.

"I had that same feeling again with Teal'c," the general stated with fondness. Cam smiled; this part was SGC history. "I knew from the moment I saw him, even though he was leading the enemy troops, that he could be trusted. I did what I could to convince him, Hammond, hell, damn near everyone on Earth, and in the end, my gut was right once again."

Cam heard the general sigh regretfully, "and then there was Jonas." The general's voice was laced with old pain. Cam had completely forgotten about the Langaran and his role as a member of SG-1. "I couldn't stand to even look at Jonas, at first. I refused to acknowledge that he was even alive those first few weeks. I tried other members for SG-1, but each time, I knew before we even went through the gate that they would fail. They weren't SG-1. They didn't feel right. And as much as I didn't want Jonas, he did. If Hammond hadn't forced my hand, I might have never given in to that feeling. That was when I realized that SG-1 was more than a just a team… when I finally realized that I was never in charge of filling positions on SG-1. My job was to follow orders and those orders didn't come from the Air Force or even the President."

The general cleared his throat, "I didn't choose you, Mitchell, but you were chosen. You are the right man for the job. And I have a feeling that you know that, somewhere, deep down. Your team doesn't have to be found. They will eventually come to you. And you will know… you just have to have a bit of faith."

Cam considered his next words carefully. It all made a perverse bit of sense. But… "And if my gut is telling me that I need the old SG-1, Sir?"

Once more the general chuckled, "Then my words stand, they will come to you. Maybe not willingly at first, but they will come. Of that I am confident."

Cam thought carefully how best to word this next question. "Sir, why did they leave in the first place?"

Cam heard a sharp intake of breath before a deep sigh, "Because something happened, and each of us were so torn up with guilt, fear, pain, and shame that we forgot where we were needed the most. We lost our way for bit… our faith, if you will."

Cam sighed, "and how do I fix that?" he whispered to himself.

The general's chuckle caught him off guard, he had forgotten how sensitive the microphones were in these helmets, "You go with the flow and help when you can. I'm already doing what I can from my end… But most importantly, you keep the faith."

Cam smiled. He felt as if a great burden was lifted from his shoulders. Perhaps there was more to that feeling of destiny from his first day. Perhaps he wasn't doing such a poor job as the leader of a one-man team. If General O'Neill had faith in him, perhaps he could live up to his expectations after all. "I think I understand, Sir. But if you don't mind, you never struck me as the religious type."

The general's laughter was almost infectious, and Cam couldn't help but grin in response. "We kill false gods, Mitchell. What isn't religious about that?" the general quipped back.

"All too true, Sir." He absorbed the good humor and let the feeling of peace and rightness enter his mind. Flying really was a Zen art. Cam grinned into his mask, "You mind if I kick in the afterburners, Sir?"

"Oh, please," was the general's enthusiastic reply.

Cam threw a casual "Thank you, Sir," over his shoulder as he pushed the small aircraft to full throttle.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

By the time Jack returned to DC, Daniel finally felt at peace. Before Jack had shown up, Daniel had missed his friend and had found solace only in his work, burying himself in his translations. But since Jack's visit, he found himself wanting more out of his life. He was finally able to forgive himself. In a way, he wasn't even sure why he had held on to his pain for so long. Jack had been right. It wasn't Daniel's fault that Jack had been hurt, but in the long run, it wasn't the physical pain that had caused his friend the most pain. Daniel had shut out the world, and in doing so, he had also shut out his friends.

Yet, Jack had even forgiven him that. So, each day after that first visit, he would send Jack a quick email with some little bit of nonsense in it, just to maintain contact. Jack always replied, even if it is a quick, 'no kidding'. It wasn't perfect. In fact, much of their conversations were initially, almost painfully, empty of all meaningful topics. But they both pushed through that initial awkwardness. The weather was fully discussed and shared, and in time, they were able to expand on that connection.

Now, Daniel was afraid of losing that hard-won contact. Before the Incident, they had an easy friendship built on a foundation of understanding and shared experiences. Even when they were at odds, there was the feeling that nothing could shake their friendship. The Incident had changed that. Daniel had shut out Jack and all his friends, and until Jack had reached out, Daniel had tried to ignore how much he had come to depend on Jack's friendship. And how much Jack had depended on him in return. He felt worse for shaking the foundations of their friendship so badly. Only Jack's belief that those same foundations were still solid kept him from giving up altogether.

As the weeks passed, Daniel found the phone calls less stilted and the emails more meaningful. Perhaps the most surprising part was that Jack actually talked. Something his friend blamed on the mandatory counseling sessions he had been attending. And as they rebuilt their friendship, Daniel's faith in their friendship also grew.

Daniel was surprised when Jack admitted that he was dreading the Daedalus' departure. The fact that his friend felt comfortable enough with him to make that admission was almost as profound as Daniel's response to it. His healing friendship with Jack had dampened his enthusiasm for exploring the Lost City of Atlantis. Daniel was certain that he could bury himself in Atlantis' history and that it would no doubt be worth every bit of hardship. But…was he willing to sacrifice his newly renewed friendship with Jack? Would their fragile friendship survive the distance across galaxies? A year ago, Daniel would have said 'yes', but now…he wasn't so sure.

So, when General Landry asked him to go to Washington, DC to brief the Senate Appropriations Committee on the state of the galaxy, he gladly accepted. Daniel really wanted to see his friend again, to affirm that Jack really was doing well. He hoped to heal their rift even more, even if he had to deal with politicians to do it.

As Daniel made his flight plans, he realized that he could easily lose all the careful hard-fought ground in their friendship if he went to Atlantis. Daniel would no longer be able to call or email his friend on whim, just to see how the day went. But he had wanted to travel to Atlantis for so long that he was seriously conflicted. It was the find of a lifetime. It was HIS find. It was the crown jewel in his top-secret career. And while Jack had blocked his transfers in the past, his friend now seemed almost unwilling to deny him this time. Perhaps it was another symptom of their fragile friendship?

Daniel needed advice. He needed all his friends back, not just Jack. But Jack wasn't the only one who could reach out and Daniel wasn't usually one to stand back and let others make first contact. That Jack was the one to remind him of this, was just one more mark of how far he had let his friendships slip due to inattention.

Disappointingly, but not surprisingly, Sam failed to return his calls. However, Teal'c took Daniel's request for a visit and immediately returned to the SGC to help him. The speed with which he came to Earth made Daniel wonder how long the Jaffa had been waiting for his call. He felt guilty about how he had neglected his friends, but he readily met Teal'c in the Gateroom. It was time to make amends. Jack's faith in their friendship bolstered his courage as he watched his Jaffa friend walk down the ramp.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c greeted regally, with an un-Jaffa like smile.

"Teal'c, welcome back," Daniel replied warmly. "Come on. We can talk in my office."

"Very well," Teal'c bowed respectfully to General Landry in the control room before following Daniel to his office.

Once in the privacy of his office, Daniel closed the door and turned to his old friend. Taking a deep breath, he started, "Teal'c, I want you to know that I consider you one of my dearest friends. And because of that, I am ashamed of my behavior these last few months. I was so locked into my own pain that I shut you and everyone else out. For that, I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

For a moment, Daniel would have sworn that Teal'c looked shocked. But Teal'c's expression quickly changed to a huge grin, "There is nothing to forgive, Daniel Jackson. But if it is my forgiveness you seek, then you have it. I only hope that you will accept my apology as well, for my sins are the same."

Daniel smiled and drew the big man into a hug, "You have it, my friend."

As the two men drew apart, Daniel couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't apologized sooner… and then he remembered Jack and his current problem.

"Teal'c," Daniel started cautiously, "I saw Jack the other day." He paused as he noticed Teal'c's posture change and stiffen. "He just stopped by…we talked, sort of…" Daniel tried to meet Teal'c's eyes and failed. "We're friends again."

Teal'c seemed to absorb the news stoically, but Daniel could see his jaw tightly clenched.

Daniel nodded to himself, "See, the thing is, with me leaving for Atlantis in a few weeks, I could lose that…I don't think I can lose our friendship again. I…I don't know if I should stay or go. I want to go… I should go. They need me. But… what about Jack?"

Teal'c seemed to swallow his reservations and think the problem through. "Have you talked to O'Neill about this?"

"Yes," Daniel replied. He had couched the question very carefully, but he had asked. Jack had easily deflected the question and told Daniel to do what was best for himself. "He said that he will support whatever decision I make."

Teal'c considered that new piece of information carefully. After a long silence, he finally asked, "What does your honor demand, Daniel Jackson?"

Daniel felt that the question wasn't for himself so much as it was for Teal'c. Daniel suddenly realized how horribly painful Teal'c's position was. He turned a critical eye to his friend and found that Teal'c had lost weight. Dark circles were visible around his eyes. Stress lines, previously unknown on his Jaffa friend, were apparent on his face. For the first time, Daniel could see the years weigh down on his friend.

Is this what has become of us? Hollow shells of our former selves? Empty men with no room for life, just duty and honor? I used to stand for so much more than digging up the past. Teal'c used to be such a vibrant and honorable warrior. Why didn't I see this before?

The realization, though slow to take root, felt right. Jack's forgiveness had opened his eyes and his heart once again. I was blind but now I see… Jack, I have so much to thank you for, that I don't even know where to begin.

Daniel cleared his throat and stated with as much dignity as he could muster, "Honor demands that you come with me to DC to see Jack."

Teal'c froze. His face a mask of pain and longing. He contemplated Daniel's words for a long time, before he nodded, "Then we will go to Washington, DC."

Daniel smiled and nodded in return, "Good. But first, I say we eat. Our flight doesn't leave until tomorrow." Not to mention that I have to book a second seat, Daniel thought quietly to himself as he led his friend to the chow hall for a snack.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Chapter 4-A Time To Tear Down

Jack arrived back in DC with a whole new attitude. He had made the first tentative gesture to Daniel and it felt good. Their friendship was still early days in healing the rift that time and distance had created, but the bad feelings were gone. Without those feelings, Jack was sure it would only be a matter of time before they were bantering back and forth over little or nothing.

In fact, his first day back in his office, Daniel had sent him an email complaining about the weather. Apparently, an early snowstorm had taken the area by surprise and caused early morning traffic problems. Which led Daniel making a late start, which led to him missing his usual coffee run, which led to him being 'forced' to drink the coffee in the chow hall, which… well, let's just say that you had best not sneak up on a cranky Daniel with SGC coffee in hand.

Jack had been touched that his friend had thought to send the email. It was the highlight of his whole day. Since then, Daniel had made a point of emailing at least once a day and calling as often as he could without appearing 'needy'. Not that Jack cared. He was just glad to have his friend back.

With his success with Daniel fresh in his mind, Jack set about planning his next move. He wanted to regain his friendship with Teal'c, but the Jaffa was based off-world. A phone call was impossible. A letter or an email seemed too impersonal for that first tentative contact. A visit would be best, but the President had already nixed him leaving the planet. Jack wasn't sure how well would take to being 'summoned' to Earth, just to talk to Jack, especially about something personal. So, Jack reluctantly put his reunion with Teal'c aside for a later time. A better time. He was sure that he would eventually need to talk to the Free Jaffa Nation, officially, of course. He would pull Teal'c aside at that time to try and heal the rift in their friendship.

Which left Sam…

Jack wasn't sure how to approach Sam. Unlike the other two, he hadn't lost contact with Sam. She emailed regularly. But, she refused to talk about anything except her pregnancy. He had spent the last several months trying to re-connect with her, trying to find common ground outside of the child they shared. He had tried to be subtle and not push her too hard. But he wanted more from her than just friendship. He loved her. He had loved her for a long time. He didn't want to let the possibility of 'them' go.

It took Jack a week of hard thinking before he came up with a new approach. A new way to attack the same problem. Maybe he didn't have to give up the possibility of a relationship. Maybe the way to reconnect to Sam was to start over from the beginning. He had been avoiding talking about anything professional, because he didn't want to remind her of their ranks and positions. But she had been is subordinate long before she had been his friend… and while she could ignore questions from Jack, she wouldn't ignore questions from General O'Neill.

With a heavy heart and great reluctance, Jack scheduled a site visit at the Groom Lake facilities. The visit was long overdue. He had been putting it off since he had accepted his new position. But, if it would get him a face to face meeting with one stubborn LtCol Samantha Carter, then he would do it.

His plan was simple. Visit and be professional and pleasant. Give her the opportunity to talk about more, but don't pressure her. Be available. Be involved. Be interested.

…Now, if he could just be sure it would work.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Two weeks later, Jack was trying to smile pleasantly as Colonel Thomason escorted him through the facility. Not for the first time, he wondered how many general officers were navigationally challenged. Everywhere he went, the hosting commanders felt the need to personally escort him to his destination. From the plane, to the car, through the facility…Jack almost asked if he needed an escort to go to the bathroom, but refrained when he decided that he just might get a 'yes' answer.

"And here are the simulation labs," the colonel droned on. Jack tuned him out as he waxed philosophical about yet another lab where his science geeks tried to solve all the problems of the universe. Jack continued to nod and appear… general-ish. He didn't think that Colonel Thomason was buying it.

But this time, the horrible boring narration was interrupted by an incessant beeping coming from one corner. Jack turned to find the source, and froze in place.

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter was sitting at the corner console completely absorbed in whatever computer simulations she had been running. She finally noticed the beeping watch and turned it off before slowly standing up and stretching. She absently rubbed her belly just before she shut down her console and collected her notes. It was only as she turned to leave that she noticed the group in the doorway.

Jack watched as emotions raced across her face; Surprise, fear, happiness, anger, frustration, and confusion. He gave her a small smile and felt his heart lurch as her face settled on resignation.

"Colonel Carter," Colonel Thomason greeted, with a smile. "I see you're taking the doctor's restrictions seriously."

Sam looked away from Jack over at her commanding officer. "Yes, Sir." She turned back to Jack, and greeted him in a neutral tone, "General."

Jack resisted the urge to frown, "Carter, you're looking good."

"Thank you," she replied with a forced smile.

"So," Jack continued, "What are you working on?"

She turned a skeptical look on him and raised one eyebrow. "Sir?"

Jack winced. She was eight months pregnant with his child and she still called him 'Sir.' Professional, Jack. Keep it professional… "You know," he gestured absently at the computer that she just left.

"Yeah… Just some simulations, Sir. Nothing too important. So, I won't bore you," she replied in an amused tone before turning back to Colonel Thomason. "Sir, if you need me I'll be at home."

Colonel Thomason smiled affectionately at her, "No problem, Sam. Get some rest."

"General," she said one last time before passing the group and exiting the room. Jack watched her disappear down the hallway.

"… General?" the colonel said, interrupting his thoughts. "Are you ready to continue the tour?"

Jack sighed. He really didn't want to finish the tour. "Sure. Ready when you are," he said with fake cheer.

The colonel turned and led the way down the hallway, presumable to the next 'fascinating' lab. Jack was more than ready to rip his hair out. "So, how's Carter working out?" he asked, almost against his will.

"Sam?" Thomason asked.

Jack winced inside. Yeah, he gets to use her name. I wonder if she calls him Joe? No, best not think about that.

"She is brilliant," the colonel started unnecessarily. "She gets more done on limited duty hours, than most of the rest of the staff does on a full shift."

"No kidding," Jack said without enthusiasm. Of course, Carter was doing more. She was Carter. She couldn't NOT do more. "But is she fitting in okay?"

"Fitting in?" Thomason asked, confused. "I guess. I mean, I think so. She spends most of her time away from the base." The colonel paused and turned back to Jack, "I assume she has been spending most of her off time with her boyfriend. But we don't really talk about it."

Jack's mind froze as his heart was caught in a vice. Boyfriend. The word seemed too innocent to cause that kind of pain. Breathe… remember to breathe… Jack took in a ragged breath. "Oh," he replied keeping his eyes on the floor as they walked to the next point on their tour. "That's good."

Colonel Thomason continued the tour, but beyond the occasional polite noises, Jack's mind was elsewhere. Was that why she refused to talk to him about anything personal? Why she didn't want to keep the baby? She did look good. Healthy good. Pregnancy looked good on her… And she had been glowing, as cliché as that was. He should be happy for her. He wanted to be happy for her, but it hurt too much.

In one small corner of his mind, he began to accept that she had truly moved on. She had made a new life without him in it and, as much as that hurt, he WAS happy for her. But he could still be professional, and he could still be her friend. She was too important to him for him to just let her go completely. They had a child now and he was determined that their kid would know his or her mother.

By the end of the tour, he had accepted her position and was ready to face his new reality. Jack praised Thomason for his good work and requested time with each of the departments so that he could go over their current projects in detail.

Sam's team was scheduled for first thing in the morning and Jack had spent half the night trying to figure out the right approach. The meeting started just like he suspected it would. Sam was nervously overcompensating with 'generals' and 'sirs'. Jack would have been more bothered if he didn't know that it was her way of issuing a pre-emptive strike. Instead, he smiled and even surprised himself by keeping the banter light and interested. He even asked a few serious questions that didn't sound too clueless. By the end of the meeting, she had relaxed enough to launch into her usual technobabble. As she herded her team out of the meeting room, Jack called her aside.

"Sam," he started. He had reasoned the evening before that there was no reason he couldn't use her given name. If her new CO could use it, then surely her friend, Jack, could… "I meant what I said yesterday… you do look good."

Sam frowned but accepted the compliment, "Thank you, Sir."

"Groom Lake seems to agree with you," he added as the tension returned to her face. "Your team seems to be doing well."

"They aren't SG-1, but they pull their own weight," she replied in confusion as she examined his face closely.

"Good," Jack replied trying to seem calmer than he felt. "So… I just wanted to… you know… say 'hi' and… and let you know what a good job you're doing… not that you don't usually… do a good job, I mean… but…" he rambled on feeling more and more foolish.

"I know," she replied.

Jack risked a glance up to see her smiling at him. He returned her smile, "Good." They lapsed into a comfortable quiet. "Well, I'd… ah, better let you get back to it."

She nodded in agreement and turned to leave with only a quiet, "Thank you, Sir."

Jack felt his heart ache dully as he noticed that she didn't look back once. He sighed and braced himself for the next meeting.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG—SG

Chapter 5-A Time to Die

Jack entered his DC home with a heavy sigh. His flight from Nevada had been delayed by bad weather in the mid-west. As a result, he had arrived even later than planned. He loosened his tie and tossed his jacket over the couch before kicking off his shoes.

The trip to Nevada had failed to live up to his expectations. But he was reluctant to call it a complete failure. He had reconnected to Sam. Not in the way he had expected, but something was far better than nothing. Anything, even if it was a bitter 'Sir', was better than never seeing her again.

"Jack…" a chiding voice echoed around him.

He sighed again, "Why are you still here?"

Janet's apparition stepped out of the shadows slowly. Her smile was sad as she replied, "Because you still need me."

He snorted in disbelief. "I'm fine. I've managed to fix things with Daniel. I talk to Sam at least once a week. I'm going to talk to Teal'c the first chance I get…I don't need you anymore." He glared at the ghost, challenging her to contradict him.

She smiled and looked pointedly at the boxes stacked in his entry way. The boxes that he had still not unpacked. He stumbled past them every day for nearly eight months. He had tried to unpack them once. He never got past fingering the tape. He just couldn't bring himself to bring those particular articles into the light. They were all the pictures he had kept in his old house.

He just couldn't bear to look at those pictures. Not yet.

Even now, his body refused to step forward and open the box. To look at photos from a happier time. Maybe soon, he would be ready…

He ran his hand over his face and through his hair before turning back to Janet's ghost. "Alright, you may have a point," he conceded. "I'm probably still nuts. Big surprise there… you know, I don't really need you reminding me all the time."

"You're not crazy," she said seriously.

"Says the hallucination I'm having of my dead doctor friend. I'm sorry to say that you're not very convincing," he replied bitterly.

He stormed past the ghost and only paused when he noticed the light on his answering machine blinking. He frowned, trying to remember if anyone actually knew this number. All his work-related calls were to his cell phone.

Probably just a wrong number, he surmised, even as he felt compelled to hit the button to play the message.

Daniel's voice echoed in the empty hallway. "Hey, Jack. I'm going to be flying in tomorrow for a committee meeting on Friday. I…uh…I wanted to know if…ah…you were free…you know…for lunch. Give me a call."

Jack smiled, instantly feeling better. He checked his watch as the machine beeped to the next message. Daniel was here already. He could talk to Daniel over lunch. Maybe, just maybe, Daniel could help him with Sam.

"Jack…It's me again." Daniel's voice started the next message. "I… ah…I have a surprise. Um… I really wish I had caught you." Daniel sighed over the recording. "Teal'c is here. He's coming with me tomorrow. I… I don't know…" another sigh, "He wants to see you… I hope it's okay. Call me if it's not. Alright… bye."

Jack leaned heavily against the small table. Teal'c was here.

Jack weighed the emotions that surged through him and was surprised to find that he was glad. Yeah, there was that small surge of fear, mixed with anger and pain, but mostly he was happy. He nodded to himself in approval. Yeah, he could do this. It was time to see his Jaffa brother and win back another piece of his heart.

He pulled out his cell phone and returned Daniel's call.

Unsurprisingly, Daniel answered within a few rings, "Hello?"

"Daniel," Jack replied with a grin.

"Jack! Hey, are you alright? When you didn't return my call, I… I was worried." Daniel's voice was cracked with embarrassment.

Jack winced, "Yeah, about that. I was in meetings all day Wednesday in Nevada, in the air Thursday, and I didn't get your message until a few minutes ago. I just got home."

"Oh," Daniel replied quietly.

"Yeah, I forgot to give you my new cell phone number. I didn't even think anyone had my home number." Jack said contritely. "But, anyway. You wanted to know if I minded if Teal'c tagged along?" he asked.

"Um… yeah. He's with me now, but you know… if…"

Jack cut him off, "It's fine, Daniel. It's great even. I would've gone to him if the President hadn't confined me to Earth."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. Thanks for inviting him. It'll be good to see the big guy. He is coming to lunch, right?" Jack asked.

"Of course," Daniel replied. "If you're sure…"

Jack prayed for patience before replying, "I'm sure. I'll call you guys when I'm ready to go, okay?"

"Okay," Daniel readily agreed. "See you then."

"See you later, Daniel," Jack replied before hanging up.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Jack was running late. No surprise there. But he was able to call Daniel and direct him to a quiet bistro that had the best cake in the city. Jack had a feeling that he would need a bit of comfort food. He eventually made it to the small restaurant only 20 minutes behind Daniel and Teal'c.

He told his driver that he would call when he was ready for pickup and braced himself for this meeting. He stood at the door and spotted his two friends at a table in the back. He pushed his anxiety aside and walked towards his friends.

Daniel and Teal'c stood up when they noticed his approach. Daniel wore a relieved and worried smile, but Teal'c was unreadable. Jack plastered a smile on his face and tried to appear excited instead of anxious.

"Teal'c, long time no see," he started easily.

Teal'c's face remained impassive as he inclined his head, "O'Neill."

Jack waited for more, but instead felt uncomfortable with Teal'c's piercing gaze. Finally, he turned to Daniel, hoping to quiet his rising panic. "Daniel, I'm glad you could make it to DC."

Daniel glanced between the two men before replying, "Yeah. General Landry needed someone to brief the Appropriations Committee. I volunteered."

Jack smiled at him. Trust Daniel to find a nice neutral topic. They bitched about the need to report to politicians and about endless meetings in general. Lunch came and disappeared, and Daniel and Jack were able to catch up while avoiding sensitive topics. But Teal'c remained a passive observer. Jack tried to draw him into the conversation, to reconnect as the friends that they once were, but aside from a few clipped words, Teal'c remained silent. But during the entire conversation, Teal'c focused all of his attention on Jack.

Jack had a hard time quelling his fear. He knew it was irrational. Teal'c was his friend. But his friend was staring at him and Jack couldn't read the thoughts going through Teal'c's mind. It was taking all of his stubborn resolve to finish lunch instead of running screaming from the restaurant.

Daniel had noticed and was doing what he could to keep Jack focused on the conversation, instead of the hole Teal'c was boring into his skull. It helped and Jack thanked all the powers that be for Daniel's presence. Without Daniel, lunch would have gone far worse.

Eventually, lunch ended, and Jack called for his driver. Daniel and Teal'c followed him outside and Jack had to fight the urge to keep Teal'c in his sights. His car arrived and Jack had to suppress the sigh of relief as he bid Daniel his final farewell. He turned to Teal'c as he opened the car door.

Teal'c had stepped up close to him and Jack flinched back. Jack braced himself and looked into Teal'c's eyes. For the first time that day, he could read the pain and sorrow in his friend's dark eyes and Jack felt his fear melt away.

Time seemed to stand still as Teal'c slowly drew his Jaffa fighting knife from behind his back. Jack recognized the blade. Teal'c would clean and polish that blade every evening before he would kel'no'rem. It had been his father's knife. It was Teal'c's most prized possession. Teal'c had said that it symbolized his honor.

Teal'c stepped up to Jack again and forced the hilt of the dagger into Jack's hand before placing the tip of the blade over his heart.

"For my dishonor, my life is yours, O'Neill."

Jack stood there looking into Teal'c's eyes with his heart pounding in his ears. He finally understood why Teal'c had left. Teal'c had placed himself in exile, because Jack wasn't there to pass judgment on him. How many times over the years had Teal'c told them about Jaffa justice? How many times had Teal'c calmly explained the Jaffa's brutally fair system? How many times had Jack wished such a simple, if harsh, system was in effect on Earth? A system where the victim was Judge, Jury, and Executioner.

Jack flipped the blade and handed it back to Teal'c hilt first. "Then use it to keep my people safe, my brother," Jack stated formally.

Teal'c cradled the knife in his fist and slowly brought it over his heart. He bowed his head and shoulders to Jack in acceptance of the verdict. "As you wish, O'Neill."

Jack gently touched the Jaffa on his arm, "It was good to see you again, Teal'c."

Teal'c slowly raised his head to look at Jack in wonder, tears glistening in the sunlight "Indeed," he replied with the slightest smile curving his lips.

Jack grinned in return and slapped his arm once, before climbing into the car and signaling to his driver. He looked back once to see both of his friends raising a hand in farewell. And another piece of his heart found its way back home...

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

LtCol Cameron Mitchell was surprised when he was approached by Dr. Jackson and Teal'c shortly after their trip to DC. Surprised, but pleased. They wanted to know if he was still looking for team members for SG-1.

Daniel had apparently decided that Atlantis needed more military types. He would wait until the expedition was found and relatively safe before venturing there. In the meantime, he felt that Cam could use his experience and expertise. Cam didn't buy the excuse, but he accepted Daniel back to the team.

Teal'c simply stated that he was needed on Earth. No amount of cajoling would pry anything else from him. He was also accepted back to the team.

So, with little fanfare, SG-1 went from 1 to 3 members. Cam was still certain that they still needed Sam. But, he started to go on missions with his new teammates… and he kept the faith.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Chapter 6-A Time to Be Born

One month passed with the new SG-1 settling into their new routines. They each hit some rough spots as they learned to work together. Cam learned more than he cared about ancient artifacts and alien cultures from Dr. Jackson's incessant need to 'educate' him. Cam also learned that asking a Jaffa to spar was a bad idea…in so many ways. In turn, Teal'c learned to respect the newest member of SG-1 and that while Cam was not O'Neill, he was a formidable warrior and a valuable teammate.

Cam knew this mainly because Teal'c cornered him one day and told him straight out. It was more than a bit disconcerting. But when he watched Teal'c walk away, Cam felt like he was finally getting the hang of being a part of SG-1. He still didn't feel like a leader, but he no longer felt like an outsider.

Dr. Jackson was a harder nut to crack. Cam knew that Jackson was brilliant and observant, but in his own way was almost harder to read than Teal'c. But while he couldn't read what Jackson thought of him, he could easily read what he didn't think of him. Cam was Air Force and a pilot, but that didn't make him interchangeable with the previous two military members of the team.

Cam was not Jack O'Neill. He knew it and Jackson had made it perfectly clear how far from the mark he fell on that one. While Cam may aspire to eventually attain an O'Neill level of leadership. He didn't have that kind of self-confidence yet and he knew it. But it was hard not to feel disappointed when he was compared to one of his greatest heroes and found wanting. At least he had General O'Neill's faith in him to help him work towards that lofty goal. And on the harder days, he clung to that faith to help him get by.

Likewise, he was so not Sam Carter. Aside from the obvious physical differences, Cam had never taken to the science side of flying like Sam. He had been in awe of Sam's intellect since the Academy. He was used to the comparison and to falling short of her brilliance. But the look in Jackson's eye hurt the most. Almost like Jackson expected Cam to be as smart and educated as Sam and was both surprised and disappointed when Cam proved that wasn't.

So, while Cam was sure the team was beginning to mesh, his teammates were still missing their other parts. Cam had faith that they would eventually be just as effective as the original SG-1. But he also still had the feeling that they needed Sam and he continued to try and convince her to come back to the SGC…in any capacity. The few times Cam had been able to actually reach Sam on the phone, she had repeated her refusal to return to the SGC. Not just to SG-1, but to the SGC as a whole, and nothing he said could sway her.

And then the universe decided to throw them a couple of curve balls.

A scant two hours after the Atlantis expedition made brief contact via a data burst, Vala MalDoran arrived at the SGC. 24-hours later, the Daedalus had left for the Pegasus Galaxy, Daniel and Vala were in the infirmary recovering from their contact with the ancient communication device, and Earth had two new galactic threats.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Sam was tired and cranky and her back ached something fierce, yet she found herself wandering the halls of the SGC unable to rest and practically bouncing with energy. She had been forcibly recalled to the SGC when the Atlantis expedition had finally made contact with Earth. When she explained that she couldn't fly due to her advanced pregnancy, General Landry had the Daedalus beam her from Nevada. Never mind that with the Daedalus' departure, she was now stuck in Colorado without her doctor or a quick way home.

And now that the dust had settled from frantic preparations for the Daedalus' departure and Daniel and Vala were safely back in their own bodies, she was more than ready to go home to her own bed and sleep for a week. At 36 weeks, her pregnancy had reached that stage where she was constantly eating, peeing, or rubbing aching muscles and restful sleep was nothing more than a fond memory. And the last 48 hours had added a constantly cramping back and a throbbing headache.

Returning to the SGC, in conjunction with the stress of not one but two galactic emergencies, had drained what few resources she had. Yet, in spite of her fatigue, she was strangely restless. Driven with a sudden need to do…something. What she didn't know.

Sam hadn't been prepared to face the SGC again after all these months; To walk these halls and remember all the times she had wandered them with her team at her side. She certainly hadn't planned on returning while so obviously pregnant. She hated staring down one confused person after another. A few faces she recognized from her time here before her transfer. Those were the ones that showed shocked surprise. Others were new and showed more confusion than shock, but they were still surprised to see a heavily pregnant woman wandering the halls without an escort.

On her arrival at the SGC, Sam had her one and only meeting with her former teammates. After a short and surprised greeting, the conference room had filled with uncomfortable silence. Her Academy year mate, Cameron Mitchell, now a fellow Lieutenant Colonel, had been the first to recover from his surprise. But he didn't question her or her reasons for not returning to SG-1, especially since her pregnancy was the obvious answer. Teal'c looked surprised and pained, but congratulated her all the same. But Daniel had looked more than surprised. He looked betrayed, and he failed to supply more than a pained smile before the briefing started.

She should have found him later and cleared the air. But she had to supervise the team prepping the nukes for the Atlantis mission, and about a million other things that the ship needed done before it departed for the Pegasus galaxy. The ship should have had a proper shakedown cruise, but Sam hoped that with Hermiod along, if anything did go wrong, the Asgard engineer could easily fix it.

The briefing ended when SG-1 were called away to find out more about the tablet brought by Vala MalDoran. And further events conspired to keep her from her former teammates.

Sam had also heard through the grapevine that General O'Neill had arrived to supervise the departure, but she had yet to see him. She hoped to avoid him if possible. While he had been nothing but polite and professional in their last meeting, she didn't want to push her luck. She didn't think she could stand to see hatred in his eyes while her hormones were out of control.

She really needed to talk to Daniel and Teal'c to explain why she couldn't be on SG-1 anymore. Now was even the perfect time. Daniel was confined to the infirmary and Teal'c should be free. But her restless mood was holding her back. She was feeling incredibly selfish and the ache in her back was beginning to drive her nuts. So, she avoided the infirmary and made her careful, ponderous way to the locker room and its wonderful whirlpool hot tub.

"Sam!" she heard behind her.

She winced and sighed before turning to face Cameron Mitchell. She gave him a weak smile, "Cam."

"I'm glad I caught you," he said with a big grin. "I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry I've been such a pest these last few weeks. If I'd known you were…"

"Smuggling beach balls under my uniform?" she asked with a hint of a grin.

Cam gave a short laugh, "Yeah. That."

"Don't worry about it, Cam," she replied. "You didn't know, and I haven't held it against you."

"I know. It's just that the guys were kind of hoping…" Cam trailed off. "Never mind. It doesn't matter now anyway." He shrugged and then turned a charming smile at her, "Motherhood looks good on you."

Her smile fell away. "Thanks," she replied without feeling.

Cam's smile faded, "I'm sorry. I stuck my foot in it again, didn't I?"

She snorted in disagreement. "Not your fault." She took a deep breath as her backache suddenly throbbed to life. "I'm not keeping her," she stated softly, needing to tell someone. Cam was merely the safest of people available.

"What? Why?" Cam replied in shock.

She opened her mouth to explain and in that moment, it was all too much for her. The stress from the last day caught up with her, her headache spiked, her back cramped, her vision tunneled, and she fainted in his arms.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Daniel was dozing when Sam was brought into the infirmary. In his initial panic for her health, he had completely forgotten that he was upset with her. Since Daniel had started trying to contact Sam, he had run the gambit of reasons that she would ignore his calls and emails. He had gone from 'trying to forget the Incident,' to 'getting lost in her work in Nevada'. He had even toyed with her punishing herself for her role in the Incident, but he had never guessed that she would have moved on with her life. That maybe she transferred to start fresh and not to run away from the past.

But his time in the infirmary had given plenty of time to absorb the news of Sam's pregnancy and come to peace with it. He liked the idea of Sam as a mother. Now that he had made peace with it, he thought she would make a great mother. He was even somewhat happy for her. But he was still upset that she had refused to return his calls or replied to his emails, even if it was to tell him that she had moved on with her life.

"I'm fine, really," Sam said to no avail as the medical staff checked her vitals and hooked her up to all sorts of monitors. The denial alone was enough for Daniel to be sure that Sam was, in fact, fine.

"But you passed out," LtCol Mitchell insisted. Daniel suppressed a chuckle. Apparently, Mitchell didn't know her nearly as well as he thought he did.

"No," Sam replied slowly, as if she was speaking to a small child. "I didn't. I fainted, that's all." Daniel could see her gesture to her swollen stomach, "Hello, I'm pregnant. It does funny things to the blood pressure, you know."

Dr. Lam was gently checking over Sam's stomach when the contraction hit…and it hurt…a lot. Daniel had seen Sam in all levels of pain. Apparently, this one was somewhere between knife stab and gun shot. The only blessing was that it eventually stopped, leaving Sam gasping for air.

"I think it might be more than that, Colonel," Dr. Lam said with a soft smile.

"Shit," Sam swore softly, after the pain had passed.

"I'll get the isolation room setup. Do you need me to call anyone? The father?" the doctor asked as she gave Sam a comforting pat on the arm.

Daniel could just see Sam's face as she paled. "Yes. My doctor. She…" he watched as Sam swallowed painfully. "She has the legal documents."

Dr. Lam blinked slowly, "For custody?"

"Yes," Sam agreed in a pained whisper. Daniel frowned; she was giving up custody of the baby?

The doctor nodded. "And the father?" Daniel leaned closer.

Sam turned away with a pained face, "My doctor will contact him." Daniel suppressed a disappointed sigh.

Again, the doctor nodded. "Alright. I'll be back when it's time to move you. For now, try to rest."

The doctor gave her one more reassuring pat before heading to the nursing station to give out her orders.

Daniel watched Sam as she gently rubbed her belly with sadness.

"Sam?" he asked gently. He was more curious than angry at her now. Sam obviously had a story to tell. And it looked like a painfully, sad one. The least he could do was give her the opportunity to tell it or not tell it. Daniel didn't think he wanted to push her on this one.

"Yes, Daniel," she replied, still focused on her unborn child.

Daniel took in a deep breath. "I've missed you, Sam."

Sam turned tear filled eyes to him, "Oh, Daniel. I wish…God!" She quickly wiped away the tears. "Stupid hormones…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've missed you, too."

Daniel clamored out of his bed to her side. He gently took her hand and gave her a gentle smile. "I was wondering why you wanted to stay in Nevada. I assume that this…" he gestured to her stomach, "…has something to do with it."

Sam wiped away another tear and a snort, "Yes, but not really…not at first." She sighed, "I left because I just…I needed to be somewhere else. This…this was a complete surprise. I didn't…"

She gasped and put a hand to her belly. Daniel held her hand as she rode out the pain of another contraction, whispering soothing words until it passed.

"Sorry," she sighed after she caught her breath.

Daniel chuckled, "Don't worry about it. It comes with this whole 'having a baby' thing you have going."

He was gratified to see that he had managed to coax a small smile out of her.

"So…" he continued. "Since you're stuck in the infirmary for a while…and I'm stuck here until…" he frowned, "…you know. Carolyn never did tell me when I would be allowed to leave."

Sam snorted at his antics. "Did you ask?"

"I don't know. I was distracted…which reminds me, have you met Vala yet?"

"Um…No. Can't say that I have?" Sam replied easily.

"Really? Well, let me just say that meeting her the second time was even more exciting than the first," Daniel replied with a slight frown.

"Second time?" Sam echoed with a hint of her old mischief. "And when, pray tell, was the first?"

"Ah…well," Daniel stammered as he blushed furiously. "It's a long story…and complicated. Very complicated."

Sam grinned. "And you say it was even better the second time around?" she teased.

Daniel snorted, "Yeah."

"Sounds like one hell of a story," Sam replied.

"So, does yours," he replied more seriously.

Sam lost her grin. "Yeah," she agreed.

"Care to share?" he asked carefully.

"Not really," she replied, turning away from him.

Daniel nodded. Definitely too painful, "Well then, let me tell you all about the first time I met Vala MalDoran…"

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Jack was meeting with Hank when the doctor called to say that Colonel Carter was in labor in the isolation room 3. Hank barely had time to relay the news before Jack was out the door and racing for the infirmary. He didn't remember the trip. He only remembered stopping abruptly outside the doors of the isolation room at the sound of Sam screaming in pain. Heart pounding in his chest, he couldn't force himself take those last few steps.

"O'Neill," Teal'c greeted him casually.

"T," Jack replied while staring at the door in front of him.

"Lieutenant Kaplin informed me of the impending arrival of Colonel Carter's child," Teal'c announced calmly.

"Yeah," Jack grunted still staring at the door.

Eventually, Jack turned away from the door and slid down the wall next to Teal'c. If he couldn't go in, the least he could do would to remain close by.

He sighed and knocked his head against the wall. "She shouldn't be in there alone," he said, trying to work up his courage.

"She is not. The medical staff is in attendance," Teal'c replied easily.

Jack gave an annoyed grimace. "I don't mean that. I…I mean, she should have someone to hold her hand…ya know?"

Teal'c looked confused for a moment, "Perhaps Vala MalDoran would be willing to do this?"

"Who? What?...Teal'c, she doesn't even know Ms. MalDoran. Why would she want her in there?"

"I do not understand," Teal'c replied sounding even more confused. "Do not the women of your world assist each other in childbirth?"

Now it was Jack's turn to look confused. Huh? "Uh…no, well, yeah, but…" He sighed tiredly. "Usually the husband or child's father helps… though sometimes it's her family, mother, sister… you know…just not…strangers."

"I see," Teal'c replied, but not sounding convinced. "Should not the child's father be contacted to fulfill his appointed role?"

Jack just shook his head, "It's not that simple…" He froze as another curse-filled scream cut through the closed door. He thumped his head against the wall again and again repeating the mantra of coward. It wasn't simple. But he could at least ask her if she wanted him in there with him. He could. He should. But he remained frozen in place.

The silence was almost oppressive in the hallway after the cursing faded away. Teal'c was a quiet well of calm, but Jack would have welcomed Daniel's endless prattling if it would distract him from his cowardice. He should be in there. It was his kid. But he couldn't force himself to stand. He lost all track of time as he argued with himself, pausing only when he could hear Sam cry out.

Eventually, one of the nurses came out of the room and noticed them in the hallway. She smiled encouragingly to them and turned saying something to another nurse inside before she hurried off on some unknown errand. After a few moments, Dr. Lam came out to see them.

"General, Teal'c, is there something I can help you with?" she asked patiently, her attention still keyed towards the isolation room.

Jack pulled himself upright and felt a bit foolish, "Uh, yeah… does Carter want someone to…um, you know… hold her hand?"

The doctor cocked her head with just the right amount of scorn and disapproval to make him feel two inches tall. "No. She insisted on doing this alone and has refused all pain medications. She asked me have her OB/GYN forward all the custody paperwork."

Jack blanched. He had hoped that she would have changed her mind by now; Hoped that after months of caring for their growing child that she would actually want to be its mother. Apparently not.

"I do not understand," Teal'c stated.

Jack remained silent, but Dr. Lam was all too happy to enlighten him, "Colonel Carter has decided to give her child away. She has the legal documentation to turn over custody of the child at birth. I assume it is to the father or an adoptive couple."

It took Jack two attempts to speak. "Do you have the paperwork yet?"

Dr. Lam frowned, "No. I was going to ask my father to work on it while I dealt with the delivery. The colonel is progressing faster than I anticipated."

Jack nodded grimly, "I'll tell him for you. I know her Doctor's name and phone number."

Dr. Lam gave him a genuine smile. "Thank you. I'd appreciate that…without the usual drugs…" A new scream cut the air. "…this is going to take all my attention. I need to go."

"Sure. Thanks, Doc."

She gave him an absent wave over her shoulder as she hurried back into the isolation room.

Jack turned and started down the hallway only to be stopped by Teal'c quietly calling his name.

"O'Neill."

He turned, "Yeah, Teal'c."

"She is strong. She will prevail."

Jack almost grinned, "It's a baby, Teal'c. Not a battle. But…thanks."

"You are most welcome, O'Neill."

Jack just shook his head, before he headed up to talk to Hank. He needed to get the paperwork sorted without the base grapevine kicking in. The last thing Sam needed right now was the base gossip destroying her hard-won reputation.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

A long, painful six hours later, Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Per Sam's request, the nurse took the baby away unnamed soon after she was born.

The newest addition to Earth was warmly welcomed by her father, General Jack O'Neill who immediately told her how wonderful and strong her mother was. When he was told that Sam had refused to name the little girl, he simply nodded and filled in his daughter's name on the birth certificate.

He explained to his hours old daughter how she was named after her grandmothers, Grace Carter and Colleen O'Neill; two of the strongest women he knew of…after her mother, of course.

Grace Colleen took in everything and eventually fell asleep to the soothing sound of her father's heartbeat, feeling every bit as safe and secure as she had before she left her mother.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Chapter 7-A Time To Refrain From Embracing

Jack smiled at the Secret Service Agent as he shifted the precious bundle on his arm. White House visits had become more frequent since Grace had been born. The first time he had tried to beg off a late-night meeting because of a lack of childcare, President Hayes had ordered him to bring little Grace along. Mrs. Elizabeth Hayes, call me Betsy, had taken one look at the newborn and fallen in love with her. And once she had learned that little Grace had no living grandparents, Betsy declared little Grace her adopted granddaughter and nothing Jack said would change her mind. Jack gave up trying to argue with the First Lady when President Hayes had pointed out that it was futile to argue with a woman, whose suppressed grandmother instincts had kicked into high gear.

By now, the visits were old hat. Jack would make the Secret Service happy by only bringing the minimum amount of baby gear while knowing that Mrs. Hayes had decked out a corner in the President's private quarters with anything 'her little princess' needed during his visits. Usually, Betsy would take Grace for her own visit, while the 'boys discussed business'.

Tonight was no different. The President and First Lady were waiting for him in the private study upstairs with the rest of the Joint Chiefs.

"And there's my darling girl," Betsy declared to the group as soon as she caught sight of Jack.

Jack rolled his eyes and dutifully handed the newborn over to Betsy, "Ma'am."

Once Betsy had Grace securely in her grasp, she turned to the room, "Well, gentlemen, we'll take our leave now. Try not to work too late." She graced Jack with one final smile before exiting the small study.

Jack closed the door behind her and took his seat with the others. He spent the next hour outlining the current state of the Atlantis outpost and what little the SG Teams had picked up about the Ori threat, including SG-1's recent encounter with the Prior on P8X-412.

"Jack, how is SG-1 holding up?" President Hayes asked, seemingly out of the blue.

"Fine as far as I can tell," he replied easily. "They're past the initial rough spots and both Colonel Mitchell and Ms. MalDoran seem to work well with Daniel and Teal'c. In fact, Hank has asked to move Mrs. MalDoran into a more permanent status."

President Hayes nodded and then cleared his throat uncomfortably, "And Colonel Carter?"

Jack glanced around the room. All of the Joint Chiefs seemed to look uncomfortable. He sighed internally, "Well, Sir, she is back to work at Groom Lake. Col. Thomason is glad to have her back. She should be off limited duty by now."

The group continued to look uncomfortable and without any words being spoken, Jack knew that they wanted Sam back in the Mountain, whether she wanted to be back or not.

Objectively, Jack knew that Sam would be an invaluable asset in the fight against the Ori. Quick access to the Stargate and any Atlantis related problems would be a bonus for her. However, her research and development team was also breaking all previous records for useful tools and weapons. She was just as vital to that installation as she had previously been at Stargate Command.

Subjectively, Jack wanted her safe, relatively, at Groom Lake. Better yet, Sam wanted to be at Groom Lake and her preference should make a difference. But bitter experience had taught him that what the Joint Chiefs wanted, they got. Regardless of how much it would cost to the individuals, or even if it was a good idea.

Glancing around the room one more time, Jack leaned back in his chair and simply dropped one word into the silence, "Why?"

"Jack," the president started, "Colonel Carter's field experience alone is too valuable an asset to not utilize in the fight against the Ori."

Jack remained silent and continued to regard the increasingly uncomfortable president.

"Her technical expertise is needed where it can be utilized more fully," General Manning started. Jack's weighted gaze moved to the general. "We can't let her go stale in R and D."

Jack was only just able to muffle a snort of humor at the man's expense. Apparently, the general had never met Sam. If he had, he would know that Research and Development was her bread and butter. If anything, she grew sharper with the challenges placed before her.

"Anyone else?" Jack asked as the room fell into silence, a half smile on his face. More than one man looked away from Jack's penetrating gaze.

The President opened his mouth to speak, but ended up just sighing.

"Alright then," Jack said into the quiet. "I know Colonel Carter very well. I know that she would be invaluable no matter where she was placed, and she is too damn good an officer to argue with the assignment. But I also know that she requested Groom Lake." He let that sink into the room. "Her current Commanding Officer can't seem to say enough to express how valuable she has been in advancing our knowledge and understanding of the alien technology we have acquired over the years."

He paused, resigning himself to the inevitable, "Regardless of her valuable skills, I'm not the one who should make this decision. No matter what I decide, an argument could be made that I'm far from objective on this subject. So, I'll leave it in your hands." He watched the surprised expressions before continuing, "I'll only advise you to carefully weigh all the factors before you decide. If you decide that you need her more in one place over the other, you need to consider who will fill her role when she leaves."

Jack looked everyone in the eye before turning back to the President. President Hayes was nodding quietly in agreement with a slight smile. "Mr. President, if that is all; I'll excuse myself while you discuss this."

President Hayes seemed to shake himself as Jack rose, "Yes, Jack. I'll let you know what we decide." Jack nodded to the other generals and took his leave of the room.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG—SG

Sam read the orders again, hoping that they had changed since the last ten times she read them. Nope.

She sighed. At least it was only a temporary transfer. But why not write it up as a temporary duty instead of a temporary transfer? And when did General Vidrine start signing her orders?

Sam really didn't want to go back to the SGC. Her last visit, hormones aside, was not the most pleasant experience. She had slipped into a mild depression, after her child was born. But working to gain back her figure and former fitness levels had helped her work past depression and into her new normal.

She was surprised at how much she missed her child. Daughter. The nurse had said the baby was a girl. Her daughter. No, HIS daughter, she corrected herself. A day didn't go by that she didn't imagine how her daughter looked. How much she must have grown in the two months that had passed. Had she started to cut her first tooth? Were her eyes blue or brown?

"It doesn't matter," she whispered to herself. She focused back on her new orders. Six months back at the SGC. Six months to work with SGC personnel and to get LtC Cameron Mitchell up to speed on SG-1's team duties. Six months surrounded by memories of better times. She let out a slow breath, "The longest six months of my life."

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

"Now, this is a team," Cam whispered to himself as he entered the briefing room, bouncing with excitement.

SG-1 was back together. His faith had been rewarded. Sam was back, even if it was just on a temporary basis. Cam was certain that temporary would eventually be expanded to permanent as Sam got back on her feet after having the baby. Who wouldn't want to be back in the action after being away for so long?

He even had an extra team member in Vala. Granted, she and Dr Jackson came as a pair at the moment, but Cam really liked her sharp sense of humor. Vala mixed things up a bit.

Better yet, she felt right. General O'Neill's description of SG-1 as a calling, couldn't have been more accurate. Cam had felt that sense of rightness the moment he met Vala. The cunning thief had resonated with him. She fit. Not to mention that Cam really enjoyed how she could completely confound Dr Jackson with one neatly placed word. Teal'c seemed to enjoy his teammate's discomfort and had graciously accepted Vala into the SGC.

Even now, the two aliens had their heads together conspiring against Dr Jackson.

"Morning," Cam greeted the room cheerfully. Receiving only half-hearted responses, Cam refused to let his good mood go.

General Landry stalked into the room with a swift, "as you were," and took his seat at the head of the table. "Alright, SG-1…," he started, piercing everyone with his sharp gaze. "Col Carter, welcome back. I'm going to assign you a few easy missions to start with as you get back into the swing of things."

"Sir?" Sam replied with confusion, "My team?"

"Yes, Colonel. As the senior military member, you've been assigned as team lead," the general replied.

"Sir, unless something has changed, my assignment here is temporary. I have no problem being assigned to a team for the duration. However, I was under the impression that I was to advise Col Mitchell. Not to replace him," she replied sharply.

General Landry leaned back in his chair, "Temporary or not, you still have seniority."

Sam leaned in, placing her hands on the table, "Seniority that I gladly waive, due to the temporary nature of my assignment. My team is back in Nevada in R and D. This is Col Mitchell's team."

Cam was surprised at the vehemence in her words. Some of his excitement faded a bit. Obviously, Sam really didn't want to be here. Cam looked at the others in the room and could easily read the surprise and disappointment in Dr Jackson's face. Teal'c was as inscrutable as always. Vala appeared to be contemplating the dirt under her fingernails.

"Sir," Cam interrupted, before the general decided to take offense at Sam's words. "Col Carter is right. If she has no problem with me as team lead, then I have no problem listening to her excellent advice." Cam gave her a quick smile before turning an innocent face to the general.

General Landry narrowed his eyes and then nodded. "Very well." He jotted down a quick note. "Col Mitchell, these next few missions will mostly be revisiting known allies and spreading the word about the Ori threat," the general continued, carefully.

The rest of the briefing went smoothly. Cam could feel his excitement building again. The band was back together.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

One week, Sam sighed angrily, as she stalked down the hallway to the women's locker room. Back one week and the whole universe conspired to drag her back here permanently. Instead of a nice easy mission to Hebridan, SG-1 was thrown into the Ori battle at Kallana.

Sam had miscalculated. Worse, she had taken the intelligence from the Goa'uld Nerus at face value. She knew better than that. She shook her head. She used to know better than that. Now, it was just another bad miscalculation in a long line of miscalculations. She slammed open the door to the locker room, angry at herself for being fooled so easily.

General Landry had made the call to talk to Nerus. She did warn him about the duplicitous nature of the goa'uld. She should have considered that the slimy snake was working for the enemy. At least, she should have considered the possibility.

HE would not have been fooled.

Sam stopped at her locker, and almost reverently touched Vala's locker. Her anger leaked away. She sat down on the bench. She lost a teammate. She had barely known Vala. She had miscalculated there as well. She failed Vala. She failed Landry. She had failed. If not for Vala, the Ori would have a beachhead in their galaxy.

Sam quickly changed clothes from her combat gear to her civvies. She grabbed her purse and keys and slammed the locker shut. She had to get out of here. She slammed out of the locker room only to be confronted by Cam loitering in the hallway, obviously waiting for her.

I really don't need this right now, she sighed.

"Sam," Cam greeted her with a casual smile. "I'm glad I caught you."

"Yeah, Cam, what do you need?" she replied.

Her frown didn't even slow him down. "I was hoping to get your opinion about a few of your past missions," Cam bounced with excitement, reminding her of a hyper puppy.

Her eyes narrowed. "Now? You want to do this right now?" she ground out, trying to reign in her anger. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Daniel and Teal'c had exited the men's locker room and stopped to watch. Great, now she had an audience.

"If you've got some time," Cam continued with a grin.

"Cameron," she started. Both Daniel and Teal'c backed up a step at her tone. "I have been here one whole week. We just got back to Earth after watching the destruction of an entire planet. After losing a teammate. And you want to know if I'm up to reminiscing about a few past missions?"

"Um..." the smile faded from his face.

"No, Cameron, I don't have the time or energy right now to spend tripping down memory lane with you. I'm going to go back to my crappy little rented apartment and attempt to forget the last few crappy days." She didn't bother to wait for a response from him, just stormed off down the hallway to the elevators.

She heard the footsteps follow her. One set, she identified casually without turning. A wry smile crossed her face. Daniel, of course. The footsteps stopped next to her and casually waited in the silence for the elevator to arrive.

Sam basked in the silence. She needed it right now. The elevator beeped and they both stepped in.

Daniel made it till level 18 before he broke the silence. "So," he started tentatively. "Crappy apartment, huh?"

She smiled, her anger fading to nothing. "God, I've missed you," she said turning to face him.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied honestly. "Wanna go get a beer?" she asked. She suddenly didn't want to be alone. She had been alone for so long and this was Daniel. Daniel was…Daniel. Comforting, calming, supportive…Daniel.

"I'd love to," he replied without hesitation. Then shyly added, "I think I need it."

The elevator doors opened and they both signed out at level 12 and climbed into the next elevator.

"Vala?" she asked as the doors closed, watching his face.

He hesitated and then nodded slowly, "yeah."

They rode to the top in silence.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

"Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c called out as he watched Daniel start after Sam.

Cam was still in shock over Sam's angry words. He couldn't quite rationalize his Academy friend with this new woman. He sighed, "Yeah, Teal'c," he said as he turned to the Jaffa.

"Do not take Colonel Carter's words to heart," the big man stated with quiet dignity.

Um, "what?" he asked, totally confused.

"Colonel Carter is finding it difficult to return to this facility. Her words of anger were not solely directed at you," Teal'c elaborated.

"Why?" Cam's mind raced to try and figure out what could be bothering Sam about coming back. She was fine the last time she was here. At least until she fainted and then went into labor…OH! He winced, "The baby," he stated nodding.

"No," Teal'c replied.

What? "No? What else could it be?" he asked.

Teal'c hesitated. Better yet, Cam could actually see the hesitation. Big guy was not comfortable talking about this. "It's okay," Cam tried to back track.

"It is not," Teal'c started, "Recent events have served to remind her of other times we have failed a teammate."

Things clicked into place, "This is about Vala," he said unnecessarily.

"Indeed. Colonel Carter feels this failure very deeply," Teal'c continued.

"I should go talk to her," Cam said with a wince.

"You should not," Teal'c said, the strength of his words stopping Cam in his tracks.

"No?"

"No. Allow Daniel Jackson to assist her through this time," Teal'c stated.

"But…"

"No."

"Okay, if you're sure," Cam finished. He turned down the hallway where Sam and Daniel had disappeared. He sighed.

"Would you care to spar, Colonel Mitchell?" Teal'c asked.

Cam flinched. "Um…sure," he replied. And slowly followed the Jaffa to the gym and what he was sure was going to be a brutal beating. At least, he wouldn't be worried about his other teammates.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

O'Malley's was quiet as they took a seat at a booth in the bar. They both ordered drinks and spent the first half an hour exchanging small talk.

Eventually, the alcohol had loosened both their tongues and Daniel finally broke.

"I miss her," he said as he stared at the label of his second beer.

"Vala," Sam stated.

"Yeah, I mean, she could be so…but I guess, I got used to her," he sighed, sadly.

"I liked her," Sam stated, with a fond smile. "She was funny, smart. She kept you on your toes. She was fun. I wish I got to know her better."

"Colonel Mitchell wasn't quite sure what to do with her," Daniel chuckled, and then sighed. "I miss the old team," he said with a melancholy tone.

Sam gave him a pained expression, "So do I." She paused before continuing, "It was all so much easier back then."

Daniel snorted.

Sam conceded his point, "Alright, it wasn't easier. But I miss it."

Daniel sighed, "Yeah, Jack just had this way of… I don't know… making things seem easier."

Sam stiffened up as Daniel brought up Jack. "Yeah, but we can't go back," she stated firmly, thinking of a baby girl with big brown eyes.

"No, we can't. But at least we can go forward," Daniel smiled. "You know he'll be here in a week for the Atlantis Team interviews."

Sam froze, "He will?"

"Yeah," Daniel continued, "It'll be just like old times. Sgt Kelter is already planning on chocolate cake while he's here."

"I…" the words seemed to choke her, "I miss it." Him…them… the picture of father and daughter brought tears to her eyes.

Daniel nodded, "Have you talked to him yet?" he asked, quietly.

Sam's carefully constructed mask cracked, "I can't," she whispered. "I can't do that to him."

Daniel watched her face carefully, "Why not?"

Sam seemed to fade into herself, "I can't put him through that. He shouldn't have to be conflicted. It's easier if I just leave it alone." Leave them alone, the thought whispered. Tears threatened to fall.

Daniel sighed, "I have."

"What?" she asked, drowning in her own thoughts. Trying desperately to hold the tears back.

Daniel took a sip and watched Sam as he said, "I've talked to Jack."

The tears broke through her tight control.

"He looks good. We talked about… everything. Teal'c and I even had lunch with him while I was in DC," Daniel continued watching her closely. "You should talk to him."

"I can't…" she let out a deep breath, "I can't face his anger… his hate… his disappointment."

Daniel frowned. He had underestimated how deep a hole Sam had dug for herself. "He doesn't hate you," he stated firmly. "He forgave Teal'c and I for… I know that he would forgive you too."

Sam kept shaking her head in denial.

"Talk to him, Sam. Just talk to him," Daniel insisted.

Sam let out a shaky breath, "I'll try."

Daniel smiled, and Sam couldn't help but smile back, "Good." They both sat in silence for a few minutes. "Did I tell you about how Vala got those bonding bracelets?"

Sam sighed in relief, "No, how?"

"Well, it all started with a guy named Arlos…"

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Chapter 8-A Time For Embracing

Sam had promised Daniel that she would try to contact Jack. "Try" being the operative word.

That had been a month ago. She had tried. She composed an email that was nice and safe, when the call came for a briefing about Ba'al on Earth. The email had been deleted after a week of scrambling after the former System Lord. A simple email about the weather seemed too impersonal. She really should call. Right?

Before she had worked up the courage to call, Col Mitchell disappeared in the middle of a fire fight. The phone rang twice before her courage failed. She had lost yet another teammate. She really needed his reassurance. But the specter of her Black Widow's Curse stayed her hand.

Did she need more proof than Cam's disappearance? She was dangerous to be around.

She should run far and fast to save Daniel and Teal'c from her curse. She couldn't drag her general back into her web. How could she expose her daughter to her curse? Better she stayed away. Better she forgot all about them.

When Cam returned, healthy and whole, she had been too relieved to have him back.

This time the phone rang three times.

Sam comforted herself with her teammates' company between missions. She should have placed more distance between herself and the ones she loved, but she couldn't face her world alone. She needed them to keep her strong. To help her focus on her duty. But even her "duty" was less defined. How could she help her general if she was too busy at the SGC to think straight? How could she keep the world safe for her daughter?

Today as she watched the news, her strength failed. The news anchors flashed between plague stories. So many people sick and dying. Orlin's mind gone. Without Gerek's intervention, the SGC wouldn't have isolated the antidote. Even now, the vaccine was being produced as quickly as possible, but never fast enough. Was this plague her fault too? Should she blame the curse for this disaster as well?

General Landry lifted the base lockdown after vaccinating all base personnel. But Sam couldn't bring herself to leave. Transfixed by the news of thousands dead due to the plague, Sam locked herself in the lab and absorbed the magnitude of the outbreak. Her teammates visited a few minutes and then left her to mourn alone with the television.

Images of medical personnel wielding needles flashed across the screen. Vaccinating women, children, anyone in the area. Sam sucked in a sharp breath. Seared into her brain was the image of an infant in the neonatal intensive care unit. That could have been her child. Her daughter.

Her eyes widened. Her daughter! Washington, DC was one of the hardest hit cities. She never checked to see if Jack was sick. If her daughter was sick. They could be dying right now, and she would never know.

Sam reached for and dialed the phone without thought. The number to Jack's office memorized long ago. She remembered to breathe around the third ring.

"General O'Neill's office," an efficient voice stated.

Sam took in a shaky breath, "Yes…Um this is Colonel Carter. Is the general available?" He had to be okay. His admin was calm. She wouldn't be calm if her boss was sick. Right?

"Yes, Colonel. Just one moment?" the voice replied, and then put her on hold.

Sam breathed evenly. He was in the office, not the hospital. He was okay. He wouldn't be at work if he was sick… or if his daughter was sick. They were fine. She almost hung the phone up…

"Carter?"

She should have hung the phone up. "Sir?" she replied.

"Hey, Carter. I was just thinking about you," he sounded happy.

Sam smiled automatically. "Really?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking that if anyone deserved the next week off to sleep it would be you," he stated. She noted fatigue in his voice as well. "Of course, you're still on base," he continued.

She chuckled, "Of course. How are things there?"

"The plague?"

She sighed, "Yeah. I've been worried."

"Well," he dissembled, "the quarantine has had us locked up in the Pentagon for… let's just say that most of us could use a week-long shower." He chuckled.

Sam could picture it in her mind and chuckled with him.

"I'm sorry about Orlin," he said softly.

"So am I," she replied. She let out a slow breath, "But it was his choice. And the information he gave us did help." She'd forgotten how easy it was to talk to him.

"Yeah," he replied. "The guys okay?"

"Yes. A few cuts and bruises, but fine. Cam is still gloating that they caught a prior," she said. How had she gone so long without this? His voice soothed her soul. "Teal'c is off calming down the Jaffa …" she froze mid-sentence. A baby was crying in the background. She drew in a shaky breath.

"Hold on a sec," Jack interrupted. He put the phone down and Sam could barely breathe as he rambled on in the background.

"…Easy there, Miss Gracie…You can't just go interrupting your mom like that…"

Her baby. Her daughter. He had named their child after her mother. Tears flowed freely down her face. Her attention locked on the phone.

"… There ya go. All clean now…"

The crying stopped, but she could still hear faint noises in the background. She barely dared to breathe.

"…Come say hi to your mom…"

Sam sobbed. She couldn't stop. Her daughter. Her baby girl. Grace.

"… Tell your mom all about your day?..." Jack said in the background. Her daughter happily burbled away. "… did I tell you how smart your mom is?… How brave?..."

"Oh God," she whispered to the phone, "I miss you so much." Why had she ever thought she could stay away from her baby? She started to hyperventilate.

"Sam? Sam? CARTER? Are you there? Talk to me. Come on Carter," Jack shouted into the phone.

She couldn't breathe. Couldn't get enough air. She abandoned her child, her friends, her life…

"Sam?... Come on, I can hear you…Please talk to me," he plead.

She still couldn't breathe. What had she done?

"Stay there, Sam. Don't move…" he ordered.

So many bad decisions. So many regrets. She sobbed uncontrollably. She couldn't stop the cycle of loss and regret. She hurt so many people. She hurt Jack and now Grace. How could she be so cruel?

A soft hand touched her shoulder. She looked up, still hunched over the phone sobbing her heart out. She saw Daniel and choked out, "I'm so-o sorry," and then buried herself into his shoulder.

Daniel wrapped his arms around her and gently pulled the phone from her grasp.

"I got her, Jack," Daniel said quietly into the phone.

Jack sighed, "Thanks, Daniel. I… I'll be there as soon as I can. Take good care of her."

Daniel nodded, "I will." He quietly hung up the phone and focused all of his attention on Sam.

Sam spent long minutes sobbing. She tried to regain control of her emotions. She hadn't expected to love her daughter so much. She hadn't expected to need her as much as she did. She needed her daughter like she needed air to breathe.

"I can't," she whispered between hiccupping breaths. "I can't."

"Shhhh, Sam," Daniel soothed. "Just let it out and breathe. It's all going to be okay."

Sam looked up from his shoulder, "I can't, Daniel."

"Can't what, Sam?" he asked, returning her gaze. His eyes were gentle and understanding. She almost couldn't tell him.

She took several gasping breaths, "I can't hurt them again."

"Shhhh, you haven't hurt anyone," he countered.

Sam shook her head. "I did. I hurt him. I left him. And then I rejected his child," she gasped as the words cut her heart. "Our child," she finished in a whisper. "How could I abandon my own child?" She started to sob again.

A picture formed in Daniel's mind. "Jack," he stated. "The baby was Jack's."

Sam nodded into his shoulder. "I didn't want them to die," she gasped.

Daniel looked confused. "Die? Sam…" he started.

"No," she said firmly, looking him in the eye, "I couldn't see him die too."

"Too?" he asked gently. "Whose death do you feel responsible for?"

Sam's eyes went a bit wild. "Everyone," she sobbed.

"Everyone?" Daniel asked with as much skepticism as possible.

"Everyone… my mom, my dad, Jonas, Joe, Narim, Martouf, Vala… everyone," she said quietly. Her sobs slowed.

"Sam, you can't accept responsibility for everyone who died in your life," he stated firmly. "And just because you lost people you love; doesn't mean you will lose anyone else. I'm still here," he poked her gently. "I'm not going anywhere."

So quietly that he almost couldn't hear it, "You died too."

The hurt in his eyes forced her to look away. "But I came back," he said firmly. "You have to trust us to come back, okay? Can you do that?"

"I'll try," she whispered. Sam finally stopped crying. Her tears dried. Daniel had succeeded in calming her panic. She smiled at him and then froze as Jack O'Neill rushed around the corner and stopped in front of her.

"Oh, thank God," Jack breathed out.

Daniel looked relieved, but Sam couldn't believe her eyes. When had Jack gotten to the SGC? How?

Daniel chuckled, and gestured at Jack's attire, "Going for a new look, Jack?"

Jack glanced down, and chuckled at himself. His dress blues were wrinkled and in disarray, a small blue duffle clutched in one hand, and neatly wrapped around him was a bright pink baby wrap.

"Yeah," he joked, as he watched Sam closely. "It's all the rage at the Pentagon these days."

Sam turned to look and stopped, and then she snorted.

Holding her eyes, Jack approached slowly. "Hey," he greeted her softly.

"Hey," Sam replied, her eyes drawn from Jack to the tiny bundle snuggled on his chest.

Jack's smile grew. With practiced ease, he unwrapped the precious bundle and turned the little baby girl to face Sam.

"Grace Colleen Carter-O'Neill, I'd like you to meet your mother," he gently settled the baby in Sam's arms.

Sam started crying again. This time softly. "I've waited so long to see you, baby girl." She looked at the child in wonder. She was so perfect. So beautiful. Sam took a deep cleansing breath, and turned to Jack. "I'm so sorry."

Jack sighed in relief, "So am I," he replied. "Are we okay?" he asked as he watched Daniel slip from the room.

"I don't know," Sam replied, never taking her eyes off of her child. She swayed gently from side to side soothing her child with the motion. The feeling was natural. Finally, she looked up and with a tentative smile added, "But I'd like to be."

Jack smiled back. Her heart soared. Things were not perfect, but she knew that eventually they would be.

-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG

Cam surveyed his team as they waited at the bottom of the Stargate ramp. He basked in the sense of "rightness."

Master Teal'c of Chulak, former First Prime of Apophis, stood paternally behind his three teammates, ever watchful for their safety, a slight smile tugging his lips.

Dr. Daniel Jackson frantically searched the pockets of his vest for some misplaced item as he raced the dialing computer. His eyes lit up with triumph as he pulled a small packet of Kleenex from a side pocket, just as the next chevron locked on the gate. Cam smiled affectionately as the man began to clean his glasses with his tissue.

Lt Col Samantha Carter watched the Stargate with a calculating gaze, as if mentally running the formulas that made the Stargate work. Cam could almost see the mental gears working as she anticipated the burst of energy from the Stargate milliseconds before it happened. A bright smile of anticipation on her face as she turned to him.

Cam turned to General Landry in the control room, waiting for clearance. "Good Luck, SG-1," the general said into the microphone.

"Thank you, Sir," Cam replied automatically with a grin and started up the ramp, knowing that his team was right behind him. Just as it should be.

END

**Author's Note:**

> Soundtrack:  
> -You Can’t Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones  
> -Turn, Turn, Turn by The Byrds


End file.
